How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Melbourne Football Club.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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Joey mayer's face

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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hi patrick

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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eloise dey.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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rose are red violets should be purple

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops