- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

http://logs.omegle.com/de4e4b0

"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

Black people. They are so kind.

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

fart+fart=poop

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"