How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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That's not what she said.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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