Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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Spinabifita

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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Bloody kids ...

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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