What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

What's the difference between a duck?

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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