A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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your father died

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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