what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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