Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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