- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

An asian without a future.

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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