Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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NASCAR

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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I've got a dig bick

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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ginger

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops