Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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a man walks into horse bar

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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q

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops