A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

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Chicken

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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