what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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Penisland

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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Poop

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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