Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

the cast of the jersey shore

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a seal walks into a club..

thumb_up thumb_down +28

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The Braves win the N.L. east

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops