- Anti Joke

Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

A disabled man walks into a bar.

What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

sarah taylor

The Legend of the Fierce Fireplace In the beginning there was a fireplace, and from that fireplace a fire glowed by the burning embers of the last feathers of a mighty phoenix. And as the last of the feathers burned and the fire exhausted, from the ashes a new phoenix was born. Then just when the newborn began to take its first breath the fire started up engulfing the infamous bird with its huge fiery teeth. The bird screamed out in terror, but no one was around to save it. Just as fast as the fire started, however, it ended with an explosion of blood and feathers, each on fire. When each of the feathers finished burning, a new baby was born. Every newborn looked at each other and without a word knew exactly what had happened. Every one of them vowed to spread the word of the terrible fireplace accident. Years passed and the phoenixes died off from having too little magic to regenerate. The story never died though and reached the ears of an old man. Enraged by the tale, he dedicated the rest of his life to finding a solution. However, this was short lived for he died just a few days later of old age. The story takes a pause here for over a century. Then, suddenly, it was by chance that a young engineer would walk into a library and choose this book. He realized that the fireplaces currently in use were no different than the ones mentioned. He then dedicated his life to finding a solution, and he found one. By using the modern technology of the time, he created a simple, yet safe, gas burning fireplace. This essentially solved the problem. Along came computers. With the introduction of a new medium for engineering several people began designing old things with circuits and chips. This developed into unforeseen consequences. As digital engineering was a new subject, and the people experimenting with it had little to no experience, many of the new designs contained errors that unless otherwise solved created the same problem that it tried to fix, but the people were lazy. They put off trying to repair these new designs and left it to later generations. This is where I come into the picture. After studying Digital Engineering for half a semester, it was deemed I was worthy enough to tackle the famed Fierce Fireplace. Not knowing any better, I accepted the challenge. This is where our journey takes a turn for the worse. I will begin and end by explaining to you the process of designing the perfect, exceptionally-crafted, digitally engineered fireplace. From what was given, the problem became clear. The first step was to create a truth table that contained four inputs and two outputs. The first output is to send a logic one whenever there was at least three inputs with a high signal. The second and most troublesome output will send a logic one whenever the outputs don’t all match. By logical association, the next step was to create a Karnaugh map for each output. From those helpful hat tricks it was easy to create very simple minterms for each output. Thereafter, those minterms were translated into circuit diagrams with the first output being limited to the use of NAND gates, and the second output only uses NOR gates.After hand drawing each circuit, the next step I took towards perfecting this fireplace was to insert both of the new designs into Multisim, but this time, instead of having two different designs, both were inserted into the same file sheet to create a single-circuit, double-output process. From this new setup I was able to recreate the circuit on a breadboard. I realized that this specific design called for four NAND ICs and four NOR ICs. This is to allow for the simplest circuit design in each instance. Using a bread board companion, it was quite easy to design a four-input circuit with two outputs. After the design was complete, the design was tested by both me and my instructor. (See picture and parts list for an added assistance.) Knowing all of this the final thing to do was write a two hundred and fifty word conclusion summary of what it took to create the perfect fireplace. I thought this was to demanding so I skipped it; however, only an ignorant jerk wouldn’t turn in anything to their instructor- it’s funny because I usually do that- just to be lazy. Instead this legend, true or not, should suffice for the reason and process of the design. Amen.

Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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