What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Snausages.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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