what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

Dick spice

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

Obama

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

An asian without a future.

what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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