What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +30

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A russian gives away vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops