The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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she wasn't 18

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Drunk irish man

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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W.N.B.A.

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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