Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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penis

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops