What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What looks like half an apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How are you? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If you are my friend like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

thumb_up thumb_down -35

lyren is a big meanyhead

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops