What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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democracy

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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