how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

fart+fart=poop

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

A muslim walks into a gay bar.

What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

Hashtag

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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