what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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test

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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