Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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whats cold and in a box...have a guess

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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What do you call a gay lion tamer. It depends on their name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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