Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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AVB

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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Yes.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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The WNBA

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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