A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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ecks! why zee?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Women's Rights.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Your Mom.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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nba live 13

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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