A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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Wade's the father

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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What's wrong with woman Everything

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops