Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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yfygcugyuyc

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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