A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Women's rights

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Male penises.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops