What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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If you are my friend like it!

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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poo is yummy

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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Womens rights

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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