Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Jews

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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