How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

peter charastabopouloulous

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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