What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

thumb_up thumb_down +44

1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops