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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

How did the asian find his family? He didn't because they all look the same.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

Knock knock Whoes there? ...

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus.

Christians pornstars.

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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