How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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DOWN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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