There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Like if you like big tits.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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