A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A horse cantered into a bar.

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

What did the children in India eat for dinner?

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

Whats hotter than a sunny day. A pot of boiling water.

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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