Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

thumb_up thumb_down +34

In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

5

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops