Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Women's rights

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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