What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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