Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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Spell: “This word”

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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knock knock who's there aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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