A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

A guy has cancer. He dies.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

What do you call an African baby?............................................ A Nigglet.

I am a n1gger.

what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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