What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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69

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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