What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

Jason Connor.

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What's funnier than poop? More poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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