"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Dani barton from bob chuckles

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I saw a shovel once.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Hey, Max!!

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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Hi

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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