a retard lost...

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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here is Stevie Wonder's poem: sjkgfhdujduehfheuefeufhhf uefuefg eufbejfbefehfehutuge' wiohl;wreohqweiothurelwueths sjtghekltrhlsdifhlziurhlsiurhtwoli

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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