Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Wade's the father

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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up your butt with a cocunut up butt cocunut

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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