Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops