hi michael

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Leave her alone...

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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