What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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*prepares this to get negged*

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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:O + :P = 69

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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21

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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