What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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AVB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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