Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

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How are you? Yes

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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If you are my friend like it!

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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AVB

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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Women.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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