How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +42

want a balloon? yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Watch your lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops