Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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whoa there

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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