If you are my friend like it!

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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